Nourish the best throughts


5 Traits of Emotionally Wealthy People

Are you chasing after the right kind of wealth?

July 16, 2015
Which would you rather be—financially wealthy or emotionally wealthy?
You might not realize it, but having mental strength—or an acute awareness of the power behind your emotions and how best to use them and act on them—is much more worthwhile than having a cushy bank account.
Don’t believe it? Here are five characteristics of emotionally wealthy people that might just make you re-evaluate your idea of the good life:

1. They are positive.

To be wealthy in something, whatever surrounds it has to be healthy first. Just as someone might have healthy investments that are growing as a healthy living thing should, so should you be nourishing your emotional self.
What does this really mean? Are you feeding yourself with positive things, focusing on the good thoughts that lead to growth? Or are you focusing on the negatives and anxieties of life that give no emotional nutrition and can hinder growth?
It’s been said a joyful heart is good medicine. In what areas do you need to medicate your emotional self? 

2. They are investors

Looking for that ever-elusive dollar tree you can plant? Bad news, it doesn’t exist. But emotionally prosperous people can help grow their own wealth. How? By being willing to invest in other people’s emotional growth funds.
By intentionally planting and investing your own emotional wealth in others and trying to grow it, you’ll also grow, seeing the fruit of your investment. More people than you know would benefit by a little purposeful investment by you.

3. They are risk takers.

The people who have successful careers or thriving relationships didn’t get there by playing it safe—they knew they had to take risks. Emotional wealth is no different. Emotionally wealthy people invest and give their wealth to others, and realizing the liability involved, they never give so much away that if they were to lose it, they’d become unhealthy themselves.
The key is not giving away more than you can handle losing and, before giving it, accepting the fact that it might never come back to you. But it’s not all scary, because the upside to a little risk is a great reward—like a booming business or a happily-ever-after marriage. How can you take a calculated emotional risk today? 

4. They are secure.

Robbing a bank isn’t easy in real life like it is in the movies, and there’s good reason for that. If it was easy to steal money from people’s accounts, why would anyone keep it there in the first place?
The same is true for your emotional wealth—only people you want taking your emotional goods should be able to withdraw them. And people you don’t? They should quickly see you’re secure enough that they can’t get anywhere near the valuables.
While you might be investing and taking risks in some people, only a few trusted individuals need to have your pin number. This isn’t to say you should lock people out or never give out small loans, but that you limit who gets full access to your emotional account. Who should you relegate to restricted access?

5. They are givers.

Giving might seem similar to investing, but they are actually quite different. When you invest, you expect something in return, like to form a friendship. But when you give, you should expect nothing in return—to give for the sole reason that it feels good to do good.
Like the old proverb says, “It is better to give than receive,” the same is true with emotional wealth. When you can give love, grace, mercy or patience to someone with no thought of return, it’s 1) very safe for you and 2) can return your personal investment in your own emotional wealth better than any interest rate. You might feel like you’ve really given nothing, but you’ll gain much more than you gave if you do it for the right reasons.
Now, are you ready to fill up your emotional bank?
#emotionally healthy
#feeling good
#healthy ego
#healthy id

Emotional intellectuals


18 Signs You Have High Emotional Intelligence

Are you emotionally intelligent? Here’s how to know for sure.

March 3, 2016
Measuring emotional intelligence can be difficult because of its intangible nature. But Dr. Travis Bradberry has analyzed the data from the million-plus people that TalentSmart has tested for EQ to help identify the behaviors that are sure signs you have a high EQ. He shares them with us in this article, originally published on LinkedIn Pulse.
When emotional intelligence (EQ) first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: People with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70 percent of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly-held assumption that IQ was the sole source of success.
Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that we know 90 percent of top performers have high emotional intelligence.
               Related: Why You Need Emotional Intelligence to Succeed
Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.
Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know how much you have and what you can do to improve if you’re lacking. You can always take a scientifically validated test, such as the one that comes with the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.
Unfortunately, quality (scientifically valid) EQ tests aren’t free. So, I’ve analyzed the data from the million-plus people that TalentSmart has tested in order to identify the behaviors that are the hallmarks of a high EQ. What follows are sure signs that you have a high EQ.

1. You have a robust emotional vocabulary.

All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36 percent of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.
People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it and what you should do about it.

2. You’re curious about people.

It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.

3. You embrace change.

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes occur.
               Related: 3 Tips to Open Your Heart, Mind and Life to Change

4. You know your strengths and weaknesses.

Emotionally intelligent people don’t just understand emotions; they know what they’re good at and what they’re terrible at. They also know who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed. Having a high EQ means you know your strengths and you know how to lean into them and use them to your full advantage while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.

5. You’re a good judge of character

Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness; the ability to read other people, know what they’re about, and understand what they’re going through. Over time, this skill makes you an exceptional judge of character. People are no mystery to you. You know what they’re all about and understand their motivations, even those that lie hidden beneath the surface.

6. You are difficult to offend.

If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. You may even poke fun at yourself or let other people make jokes about you because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.
               Related: 8 Ways to Be a More Confident Person

7. You know how to say no (to yourself and others).

Emotional intelligence means knowing how to exert self-control. You delay gratification, and you avoid impulsive action. Research conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout and even depression. Saying no is indeed a major self-control challenge for many people. “No” is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

8. You let go of mistakes.

Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success. It takes refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall down.
               Related: Why Failure Is Good for Success

9. You give and expect nothing in return.

When someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, this leaves a powerful impression. For example, you might have an interesting conversation with someone about a book, and when you see them again a month later, you show up with the book in hand. Emotionally intelligent people build strong relationships because they are constantly thinking about others.

10. You don’t hold grudges.

The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.

11. You neutralize toxic people.

Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground. Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.

12. You don’t seek perfection.

Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you’ve achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.
               Related: 5 Ways Perfectionism Is Getting in Your Way

13. You appreciate what you have.

Taking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the right thing to do; it also improves your mood because it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23 percent. Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood, energy and physical well-being. It’s likely that lower levels of cortisol played a major role in this.

14. You disconnect.

Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the moment. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing yourself offline and even—gulp!—turning off your phone gives your body and mind a break. Studies have shown that something as simple as an email break can lower stress levels. Technology enables constant communication and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. It is extremely difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside of work when an email that will change your train of thought and get you thinking (read: stressing) about work can drop onto your phone at any moment.

15. You limit your caffeine intake.

Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, and adrenaline is the source of the fight-or-flight response. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re responding to a curt email. When caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your behavior. Caffeine’s long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its sweet time working its way out of your body. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.

16. You get enough sleep.

It’s difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams) so that you wake up alert and clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.
               Related: Sleep Deprivation Is Killing You and Your Career

17. You stop negative self-talk in its tracks.

The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that—thoughts, not facts. When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural tendency to perceive threats (inflating the frequency or severity of an event). Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts in order to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook.

18. You won’t let anyone limit your joy.

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.
#emotional intellect

Feynman and relativity!

Did Feynman ever say he tried to derive relativity himself and couldn’t understand how Einstein did it?

Paul Mainwood

Feynman did say something quite close to that. A few things to make clear. First, he was talking about the General Theory of Relativity, not in any way the Special Theory. And second, Feynman did derive GR, but did so in a very different way to Einstein himself. In doing so, he expressed his amazement that Einstein managed to succeed on his original path.

What happens when knowledge meets genius?

   “I’m surprised that no one here has mentioned Terence Tao or Terry Tao as most know him. He is an Australian-American mathematician who has worked in various areas of mathematics and won the Fields Medal at the age of 31. For people who do not know, Fields medal is the equivalent of Nobel Prize. Imagine someone winning at Nobel at 30 in a subject that is so advanced that it would take a relatively intelligent person 40–50 years to only partly comprehend what it is all about, forget advancing the subject.

Terry Tao – The Mozart of Math as he is called by several people.
He showed signs of his incredible intelligence aged 2, when he managed to solve basic arithmetic questions on his own. At 13, he managed a gold at the International Math Olympiads and by 16, he graduated with both Master’s and Bachelor’s degrees at the Flinders University. He also graduated with a Ph.D from princeton university at age of 20. Moreover, Terry bagged numerous awards, such as the Salem Prize in 2000 and the Clay Research Award in 2003, just to name a few. He has been dubbed as “Mr. Fix It” by Charles Fefferman (a professor of Mathematics at Princeton University and a Fields medalist and a child prodigy himself), because he has enthralled many mathematicians such that they vie to interest him in their problems. There is a joke that if there is an unsolvable area of math for several years, it is best to get Terry Tao interested in it.
This is something the Math department chair of UCLA once said – “Terry wrote 56 papers in two years, and they’re all high-quality. In a good year, I write three papers.
#child prodigies
#adult prodigies

Being intelligent comes easy for some!

   “The other day I was chatting with my girlfriend. She’s extremely smart. She said “as a kid I was always bored in school”, so I asked her what she did about it. “There wasn’t much to be done, homework felt easy and I had more time for sports and other activities”.

It is true that she was a competitive tennis player for all of her teenage years. I wondered if that was a result of all the extra time she had. Then she said: “even to this day I feel bored sometimes. People around me seem stupid sometimes”.
At the time we had this little discussion, I knew her birthday was the forthcoming week so I bought her a whole collection of books on political philosophy. Plato, Aristotle, Locke, Hobbes… She never read any philosophy before. She was surprised. I said “if you think you’re smart and if you’re bored, then go get out of your comfort zone. Read those books. Do you think you are smarter than the people who authored those books?”
She read them. She studied. She learned. She became more humble. There’s always someone smarter than you. Always something you can learn. Get out of your comfort zone. Go to the next level. Surround yourself with smart people.”
#great thinkers

A Einstein news flash!

   “Albert Einstein, pictured here with his wife, Mileva Maric:

Einstein was always known as someone who greatly valued his privacy, perhaps to a fault for those around him. He had few interpersonal skills to speak of, and his odd personality would sometimes have him spending days holed up his room, alone. This did not go over so well with his wife, Mileva, and their marriage began to unravel. For a while, they tried to stay together for the sake of their two sons, but things became increasingly icy as the months went by.
One day, Einstein sent a chilling letter to Mileva, with a list of marital “conditions” he expected his wife to obey upon his return.
A. You will make sure:
1. that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order;
2. that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room;
3. that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.
B. You will renounce all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons. Specifically, You will forego:
1. my sitting at home with you;
2. my going out or traveling with you.
C. You will obey the following points in your relations with me:
1. you will not expect any intimacy from me, nor will you reproach me in any way;
2. you will stop talking to me if I request it;
3. you will leave my bedroom or study immediately without protest if I request it.
D. You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children, either through words or behavior.
Unsurprisingly, their marriage failed, and Mileva moved to Zurich and took her two sons with her. Einstein ended up marrying his cousin soon after, though that marriage was also troubled.
Einstein was a genius. But in the relationship department, he didn’t do so well.”

Being mental is a large part of thinking!

“1. Ladies: wear red

For women the color red makes them exponentially more attractive. Research has shown that men will go to great lengths to do things for a woman in red that they would not do otherwise like give her money or even carry her across the street.
2. Go to you managers with solutions instead of problems
Everyone brings problems but very few people bring solutions. If you’re the one bringing solutions you will be noticed and rewarded for it
3. Try shutting up.


If someone gives you a lousy answer to a question, stay quiet and keep eye contact and they’ll usually feel pressured to keep talking and reveal more. I don’t know why it works, but it always does, especially in high stakes situations like negotiations
4. Trick them into liking you
The Ben Franklin effect is a proposed psychological phenomenon: A person who has performed a favor for someone is more likely to do another favor for that person than they would be if they had received a favor from that person. An explanation for this would be that we internalize the reason that we helped them was because we liked them. The opposite case is also believed to be true, namely that we come to hate a person whom we did wrong to. We de-humanize them to justify the bad things we did to them
5. Say their Name a lot
The most charming people have the strange habit of using your name a lot. When you meet someone, help yourself remember their name by saying it a lot in conversation which has the added effect of making them like you.
6. Learn by teaching.
studies show you retain a lot more information and overall comprehension improves when you teach something you know to someone else.
7. Excitement is contagious
If you’re nervous about something, cover it up with excitement and the people around you will key in and reflect that excitement. Pretty soon you won’t be nervous anymore because of all the good vibes
8. Touch them a little
Touch is a powerful tool. Waiters who learn the art of unobtrusive touching are tipped more. When talking to someone lightly touch them on the arm, thigh, or knee to emphasize your points and to make them comfortable around you.
9. Be an Active listener
Ask clarifying questions, maintain eye contact, and make remarks like uh huh and really. Talk Less Say More, how to make your words sensational
10. Learn the pause
The optimal rate of speech is 3.5 words per second and you should pause 4-5 times a minute.
11. Make them think you compromised
If you want $10 start out by asking for $50. When the person refuses, ask them for the $10 instead to “help you along” they fell bad for refusing you and will jump on the opportunity to give you 10 buck.
12. Start small
This is the opposite of number 11. Instead of starting with something they’ll likely refuse, start with something they can’t say no to. After they agree, make a second request a day or two later that’s just slightly larger. This works because of congruence, we like to stay in line with what we’ve done in the past. ( next time you’re reading a long form sales page online, try and look for the places they make you agree to something that’s a no brainer)
13. Wait until they’re tired
When we’re tired, our mental energy drops. We’re less able to perform higher cognitive activities like weighing pros and cons in a decision. If you want to get someone to agree to something they’d normally refuse, wait until they’re tired before dropping the bomb.
14. Don’t tell them they’re wrong
Instead acknowledge their stance, state where you have common ground, and articulate your own points. This will make them much more likely to listen to you.
15. Just nod
Nodding is a universal sign of agreement right. When you nod in front of someone they’ll start to nod as well. This turns them to an agreement state of mind and sets the groundwork to allow you to ask for favors.
16. Mirror mirror on the wall
If you find yourself working with angry people a lot, put a mirror behind you. It’ll force people to look at their faces and relax.
17. Focus on the process
The mind is a wonderful thing, instead of focusing on the end goal, focus on the steps you’ll need to take to reach it. Your mind will come up with amazing ideas to help you reach them.
18. Use silence to deal with anger
When someone shouts or otherwise loses their temper, don’t react the same way. Instead, look at them with a blank stare and keep quiet. 99% of the time they’ll calm down
19. Use emotions
People don’t remember you, they remember how you make them feel. When talking infuse your words with sincere emotions and people will pick up on it and like you more.
20. Frame your request as an offer
Teddy Roosevelt was running for president, his campaign printed out 3 million leaflets with a picture of Teddy and a copy of a campaign speech. The campaign then realized that they didn’t have the rights to the photo. Instead of explaining the situation to the photographer, which would have given him leverage to ask for a lot of money, the campaign made an offer that they would use the picture, giving the photographer lots of publicity if the studio paid them $250. The studio paid the money.
21. Drinking games
If you’re playing beer pong and your opponent is playing like he sold his soul to the Devil, all you have to do is ask what he is doing to with his opposite throwing hand.
“Damn bro you’re playing hella good! What are you doing with your left hand when you shoot?”
This will make him conscious of his left hand and he will start messing up almost everytime!
22. Stay silent during shit talking.
When people are gossiping, don’t participate. Over time, they’ll stop gossiping around you completely. They’ll also begin to trust you more and tell you their deep secrets because they know you won’t tell anyone.
As an added bonus, you’ll fill the time reserved for shit talking with more intimate and meaningful conversations.
23. Be an honest liar
Tell the truth most of the time so when you lie it’ll be taken at face value
Me, I’m dishonest. And a dishonest man, you can always trust to be dihonest. Honestly: it’s the honest ones you want to watch out for. You never know when they’re going to do something completely stupid.” – Jack Sparrow, The Pirates of the Caribbean
24. Who’s having sex with who?
When laughter breaks out in a group of people, each one will instinctively glance at whichever other individual they feel closest to in that group. People who’ve been naked together seem to feel pretty close
25. Argument first, stance second
Tell people what you believe first rather than why you believe it. For example if you say I’m an atheist and this is what I believe, people will discount you because they already know the motivations of your actions.
26. Be first or last
People always have the clearest memory of first and last thing that happens, while the middle becomes a vague blur. So if you’re setting the time for an interview, try and be the first or last through the door.
27. Threats into challenges
The same reaction your body has to fear is the exact same reaction you have when exhibiting courage. Reframe threats into challenges”

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What a mensa

” Actually the world is already run by people with high enough IQs or standardized test scores to qualify for Mensa, for the most part. No one had to step out of their way, they just rose to the top of society on their own.

Get your own CrushTag!

Let’s look at the power bases of the United States, starting with the top tiers of the U.S. government, Silicon Valley, and Wall Street. Someone else can do a rundown for Europe and the rest of the world, but Isaac Isamov once claimed there is a “cult of ignorance in the United States,” so it’s interesting that even the U.S. seems to be mostly run by people with Mensa-level talents in this modern age. 
Silicon Valley: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, Gordon Moore, Scott McNealy, Larry Ellison, Tim Cook. If you can name a great founder or CEO or key developer of a Silicon Valley firm, it’s very likely they had an SAT score good enough to qualify for Mensa (the needed SAT was only 1300 back when it counted) and most of these guys took the test at a time when it did indeed qualify them.(CLICK FOR BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY) Those who went to graduate business schools went to places ranging from Stanford to Duke, similarly requiring GMAT scores in the low to mid 700s (and similarly qualifying for Mensa).
U.S. Government: It’s likely that George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama and this year’s prime competitors (Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, Bernie Sanders, andeven Donald Trump) can all clearly document that their SAT/GMAT/LSAT scores are high enough to join Mensa if they want to. Sanders went to the U. of Chicago, Trump went to Wharton, the Clintons went to Yale Law, Obama went to Harvard Law… so on and so forth. (The only POTUS exceptions in recent history are Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush, who did not have Mensa-level standardized test scores but made it all the way to the Presidency anyway. They are the exceptions that prove the rule.)
Wall Street: All these firms tend to recruit Analysts at only the best undergrad schools in the country, and they especially only recruit Associates at the best business schools in the country. There are a few exceptions who went somewhere like Baruch, but they are usually relative geniuses anyway who had a good reason to go there. Everyone else went to the usual suspects: Chicago, Wharton, Harvard, MIT, etc. All of which require GMAT scores well into the Mensa range.
So. While I’d love to write a post opining that just anyone can run the world somehow, the vast majority of real “movers and shakers” in our society already have Mensa-level standardized test scores and credentials, whether they want to use them to join or not. But I suspect many of them are probably far too busy running our world to actually join Mensa.”

What does bordem do to smart people?

Boredom does not begin to describe it. It’s nothing less than torture. Allow me to explain.
I taught myself to read and do basic math at age 4. So obviously by the time I did get to school two years later, things were not ideal. Ages 6 through 12 were relatively manageable, because it was customary for kids to contribute a book to the class library. So during this time, when new material was presented I would spend the first class finishing all exercises for that year and the next year. In the following classes dealing with the subject, I would spend my time reading quietly while everyone else caught up.

It’s important to note that at this point, a lot of invisible damage had already been done to my psyche. I had already started adopting negative adjustment techniques, like purposefully wasting time before starting tasks to make them more challenging. To understand how this works, imagine owning a formula one car, but being forced to always drive on shabby roads where you can get up to maybe 1/8 of your maximum speed. So in this regard actively handicapping yourself helps, though at the time you’re unaware of the long term damage you’re inflicting on yourself. See, after a while your car starts deteriorating, simply because it’s not being used to do what it was designed to do.

Poor socialization starts happening as well, mostly due to the huge gap in development. I was literally told at age 12: “We don’t want to play with you, you talk like a professor.” In fact later in life I got dumped for similar reasons. Being intelligent is supposed to make your life better, right?

Anyways, back to reading in the classroom. Most teachers were sensible enough to return the respect I was giving, and to not try and fuck with me. However, in the last year before high school, they increasingly started making a problem out of the fact that I was quietly keeping myself busy. Initially they would tell me to stop reading, so I’d ask them for something else to do. Which they obviously could or did not want to offer me.

This took away any kind of incentive I had to play nice. The lack of challenges and things to do in general drastically ramped up boredom, and as a result, creativity in dealing with the situation. So I started resorting to stuff like pissing my pants to get out of class, making the teachers look like idiots in front of the other students, sleeping in class, making weird noises, etc. This is what happens when you try to get a highly intelligent person to submit to blind authority. We always ask “Why?” If that question can’t be answered to satisfaction, you’re in a world of trouble.

Also important was the fact that I’d been voicing my discontent and pain to my family, and they kept promising me things would be better in high school. I’d get challenged more, have some choice in what subjects I’d study, etc. I wish they hadn’t.

After a good month in the first year of high school studying Latin, I realized I was in for another 6 years of the same scam. Additionally, the amount of authoritarian teachers increased. I went from scoring 99% on the pre high school assessment test to intentionally scoring 50,1% on tests, refusing to do homework, sleeping in class, spending tons of time at the principal’s office, etc.

A year later my mom took me to Tessa Kieboom, the world’s leading expert on gifted children. She begged her for a solution to my problems. Tessa tried to work with the principal and teachers at my school, but they were unwilling to help in any kind of way. She advised I skip a year, but the school refused. Didn’t switch schools out of fear of losing the few social outcast friends I did have.

All the bad stuff got progressively worse during the remaining five years. I developed severe clinical depression, and started trying to take my own life on a pretty regular basis. Stuff like coming up with a legitimate, novel solution for a geometry problem and getting a 0 for the test because my answer wasn’t in the textbooks obviously didn’t help. Negative reinforcement doesn’t get much worse.

The bottomline is, society unwittingly inflicts a tremendous amount of pain and damage on anyone that deviates from the center. Schools are especially good at this. Their target audience is an average person, which doesn’t fucking exist. Every single child has different needs, regardless of intelligence levels.

If civilization is to survive, we need a serious reorganization of society and the school system. With the current system, the more a person’s intelligence deviates from the mean, the more social ostracization they face. For a species that thrives when cooperating, this is a terrible thing. It serves as a negative reinforcement, decreasing the chances that such persons will contribute to society. In the case of highly gifted children this is especially tragic. On the extreme end of this spectrum is radicalization. Consider in this regard the unfortunate case of Ted Kaczynski, mathematical prodigy turned Unabomber.

As for me, I survived. At 29, I still have more suicide attempts than birthdays though. Ultimately, the things that saved me were:

broadband internet access – this allowed me to learn at my own pace
video games – they allowed me challenge myself and actually develop my consciousness, rather than having my entire being suppressed by an institution
If you enjoyed reading this answer, or simply want to raise awareness, please up vote and/or share. You have my undying gratitude.”

Love what you do even when it doesn't like you

”  Many people who do not do well in school can be broadly divided into two types:(CLICK HERE AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER)
People who really try but just can’t do well.People who can’t be bothered (for one reason or another).
I presume you were referring to the 2nd type since people with high IQ typically fall into the 2nd category.
I am speaking from my own experience and what I write here may not reflect the situation for others. I am a Mensa member so that may put me in a better position to answer this question.  Well, intelligent people just do not like doing things they don’t like and they are very stubborn about it. Take Einstein for example, he excelled in all math-related subjects but fared much worse in others. If you were to read his biography
His Life And Times: Philipp Frank: Books
Even for subjects that he liked, he didn’t always agree with the way it was being taught. That led to conflicts with his teachers and that explains why he did not succeed in getting a postgraduate research position back in his university since no professor wanted to take him in. His results were not particularly stellar anyway. He eventually gave up and became a patent clerk. But being the genius that he was, he taught himself advanced physics and engaged in his own research into the “laws of the universe”. Intelligent people will shine if left on their own to discover what they really like and engage themselves in it. If you force them to go through public schooling (like everyone else), the potential creative genius within them will most likely be buried.
Therefore, it isn’t surprising intelligent people might do badly in school. Good results has more to do with hard work than with a high IQ. Of course, a certain level of IQ is needed to do well but certainly not of the level of Einstein’s.” USA, LLC