Does being around people make you nervous?

” Many people get nervous or self-conscious on occasion, like when giving a speech or interviewing for a new job. But social anxiety, or social phobia, is more than just shyness or occasional nerves. With social anxiety disorder, your fear of embarrassing yourself is so intense that you avoid situations that can trigger it. No matter how painfully shy you may be and no matter how bad the butterflies, you can learn to be comfortable in social situations and reclaim your life.” Being able to cope with day to day events can be a strain but overcoming events that started out being stressful is to be empowered to the highest power.”  

                                                 (WHAT IS A MISSION?)

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Never try to stop life from happening and you will survive every time!

” Social anxiety sufferers have negative thoughts and beliefs that contribute to their anxiety. If you have social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, you may find yourself overwhelmed by thoughts like:

“I know I’ll end up looking like a fool.”
“My voice will start shaking and I’ll humiliate myself.”
“People will think I’m stupid.”
“I won’t have anything to say. I’ll seem boring.”
Challenging these negative thoughts is an effective way to reduce the symptoms of social anxiety disorder.

The first step is to identify the automatic negative thoughts that underlie your fear of social situations. For example, if you’re worried about an upcoming work presentation, the underlying negative thought might be: “I’m going to blow it. Everyone will think I’m completely incompetent.”

The next step is to analyze and challenge them. It helps to ask yourself questions about the negative thoughts: “Do I know for sure that I’m going to blow the presentation?” or “Even if I’m nervous, will people necessarily think I’m incompetent?” Through this logical evaluation of your negative thoughts, you can gradually replace them with more realistic and positive ways of looking at social situations that trigger your anxiety.

It can be incredibly scary to think about why you feel and think the way you do about social situations, but understanding the reasons for your anxieties will help lessen their negative impact on your life.”

Never let them see that you sweat like they do. Being human is part of a emotional journey that every living creature experiences. Never be the person that forgets that life happens to all of us. When rain falls it doesn’t aim for any one person. Life has a tendency to just fall randomly on us all.”

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Phobia triggers list

Triggers for social anxiety disorder (social phobia)
The following situations are often stressful for people with social anxiety disorder:

Meeting new people
Being the center of attention
Being watched while doing something
Making small talk
Public speaking
Performing on stage
Being teased or criticized
Talking with “important” people or authority figures
Being called on in class
Going on a date
Making phone calls
Using public bathrooms
Taking exams
Eating or drinking in public
Speaking up in a meeting
Attending parties or other social gatherings.”

Phobias continue!

” Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, involves intense fear of certain social situations—especially situations that are unfamiliar or in which you feel you’ll be watched or judged by others.

These social situations may be so frightening that you get anxious just thinking about them or go to great lengths to avoid them.

Underlying social anxiety disorder or social phobia is the fear of being scrutinized, judged, or embarrassed in public. You may be afraid that people will think badly of you or that you won’t measure up in comparison to others. And even though you probably realize that your fears of being judged are at least somewhat irrational and overblown, you still can’t help feeling anxious.

While it may seem like there’s nothing you can do about the symptoms of social anxiety disorder or social phobia, in reality, there are many things that can help. It starts with understanding the problem.

Matthew’s story
Matthew skipped class today. It’s the first day of the new semester, and he’s afraid that the professor will go around the class and have the students introduce themselves. He knows it shouldn’t be a big deal, but it really stresses him out. Whenever he has to speak in front of more than just a few people, his voice starts shaking and his face gets red. He always feels so humiliated afterwards.

Since public speaking is Matthew’s worst nightmare, he’s been avoiding a speech class he has to take in order to graduate. He’s also dreading his brother’s wedding, even though it’s over six months away. As the best man, he’ll have to give a toast at the reception and he’s already nervous about it.”


Do you ever panic?

Panic Disorder

People with panic disorder have recurrent unexpected panic attacks, which are sudden periods of intense fear that may include palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate; sweating; trembling or shaking; sensations of shortness of breath, smothering, or choking; and feeling of impending doom.

Panic disorder symptoms include:

Sudden and repeated attacks of intense fear can cause someone to panic. Helplessness is another thing that may bring on a attack when feelings of being out of control during a attack cause the event to become magnified in the eyes of one experiencing this disorder. Intense worries about when the next attack will happen can also leave one in the panic mode of thinking. Identifying the events by sorting things out or dissecting events step by step can lead to total relief of these events permanently. Fear or avoidance of places where panic attacks have occurred in the past is one way that those having attacks seek to escape these events.

” Two hikers are going for a hike in the woods. One hiker runs into the park ranger, who warns her that a bear has been spotted in the woods. The other hiker does not receive this warning and continues on his way enjoying an afternoon hike. The hiker who was alerted to the bear is very cautious and constantly on the lookout for the bear. She becomes sensitive to anything that suggests the bear is near (such as rustling in the woods) and may decide to avoid the woods altogether and not return to the park. This is what happens when you have a panic attack. Because you have been “alerted” to it, you may find yourself always on the lookout for another panic attack. This can make you feel nervous, which may lead to another panic attack. You may even start to avoid things that remind you of the attack.”

Anxiety revisited

A very common thing called anxiety touches lives of more than 3 million US cases per year. Who usually treats them? Someone in the medical field. It is usually treatable by a medical professional. It isn’t always diagnosed by the person experiencing the disorder but in some instances it is usually through the process of self-diagnosis that people find out of its presence. Lab tests or imaging is not required.
Examples of anxiety disorders include; panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Symptoms include stress that’s out of proportion to the impact of the event, inability to set aside a worry, and restlessness. Treatment includes counseling or medications, including antidepressants. Does this ever sound like anyone that you know?”

A mans what?

“I have some good news: Male attractiveness is far more contextual and malleable than female attractiveness, so there are more ways in which a man who is not genetically-gifted can raise his desirability, by making different choices.

Let’s focus on three fixes, in order of how quickly you realize returns on time investment.

1. Let’s start with something that is the most easily-fixed:

Are you reading this on a computer or cell phone? Of course you are. Freeze – don’t move just because you’re reading this, but what is your posture right now?

 Admit it: this is how you look/positioned right now.

Are you at least partially hunched over? It’s almost a certainty – nearly everyone has bad posture and it is exacerbated by our constantly online/digital life.

Being regularly slumped/hunched-over visits a cluster of cascading bad consequences to your life, including negative impact on your long-term spinal health. For now, let’s focus on appearances:

Want to look better in seconds? Straighten up your body.

For those of you more visually-oriented, imagine you’re a puppet with a string attached to the top of your head. The puppeteer who is controlling “you” pulls gently until your feet are barely grazing the floor – that’s the correct position for both health as well as maximizing your own height and personal presence. And since most people (including handsomer men than you) have bad posture, you can easily set yourself apart and place yourself in the top 10 percent of men in most rooms, just by the act of maintaining a good posture.

Are you sitting or standing straighter as a result of reading the last paragraphs? We don’t know each other, yet I just improved your looks buy a couple of points.

You’re welcome.

2. Weight Lifting

The human body is a remarkable machine – the harder you work it, the more beautiful it becomes. You don’t need to commit to a hardcore bodybuilder schedule to reap the benefits – two to three times a week of weights that push you to muscle failure after 5~10 repetitions will be sufficient.

Newbie men tend to fixate on upper body, but the real benefits come when you incorporate deadlifts, squats and lower-body training to your regimen – a strong core and well-developed glutes/legs will help you default to a healthy posture (as mentioned in 1. above) and you will “catch” yourself less frequently in a bad slouching posture if you are regularly lifting and pushing your muscles and training them to failure on a regular basis.

The further to the right you go on this gradient, the better your life gets.

Once you develop a decent level of musculature, you will realize an awesome passive benefit: muscle consume more calories, and so a more-muscular “you” has a baseline metabolism at a much higher level, so even while you’re resting, you’re going to burn more fat than a sedentary version of you.

Weightlifting – the gift that keeps on giving!

3. Cultivate/Amplify/Develop Gender-Atypical Interests & Hobbies

As a guy, have you had the experience of being in a stereotypically-male environment (gun range, mixed-martial arts dojo, sports-car track-day event, video game tournament, etc.) and see a woman show up alone, and with her own gear to participate (i.e. she’s not the +1 girlfriend of some guy, who dragged her there)?

If you’re like me, your reaction is probably some variant of “OMG, that is so awesome, I need to meet/know more about her!”

Jessica is a Swedish sports car enthusiast who owns and races a modified Porsche 911 Turbo (997 variant), and crushes very impressive lap times; she almost certainly can outdrive you. Yes, those are three pedals you see there – she drives a stick-shift. Line form that way, fellas. There are thousands of Porsche enthusiasts who want to marry her ahead of you.

Whatever level of attractiveness she commands is amplified by a factor of ten – her rarity in an arena that is stereotypically and overwhelmingly male raises the social-currency value of her existing beauty by a massive multiplier.

That’s great for her, but what does all that mean to you?

Be the male version of Porsche-racing Jessica.

Sure, you’re into mixed-martial arts, video games, fast cars, sports and shooting guns. So is every other guy.

Don’t give up your hobbies, but take some time to feel out activities that you can genuinely enjoy, that most men don’t take the initiative to explore.

Salsa dancing. Poetry slams. Book-reading clubs. Cooking classes. Wine-tasting tours.

Me, I have a little dog and the small-dog meetups are basically filled with dog-loving young women and gay men. Nearly zero competition.

As the lone (or minority) male in an otherwise female-dominated arena, your contextual attractiveness skyrockets, and if you can talk intelligently about the subject matter (i.e. you’re not there just to meet girls), you set yourself far, far apart from your male competitors (who fill their days playing video games/shooting guns/racing cars with each other, while complaining about how they can’t meet any women).

Good luck.

And by the time you’re reading this sentence, many of you are back to your default slouch so I will repeat the advice I gave at the top:

Sit up straight! 😀 ”

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Beauty stikes out


In my country, the U S of A, namely the Southeast, I think the standard image of beauty is probably the same as in many other places; tall, curvy, blonde and blue eyes (though light brown eyes are also really popular), and either fair skin or tanned.

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Get your own CrushTag!

As for my preferences, I tend to find shorter, dark-haired, brown or grey eyed women to be attractive, though not nearly exclusively. Examples would be some of these lovely ladies.


But of course, beauty isn’t a set in stone thing; I find a lot of different people attractive, and that list certainly isn’t limited to short brown-haired brown-eyed women. Personality is also important, even moreso than outward appearance.

However, the first thing that came to my mind when I saw this question was someone, who is, in my mind, an all-around beautiful person, both physically and as an artist and human being.

Kesha Rose Sebert. I love her to death, she writes a lot of her own music and a lot of music for other people, has a hand in the actual instrumental parts of some of her stuff, and if you’ve ever seen her bloopers videos on Youtube, she’s got a good sense of humor and doesn’t seem to take herself too seriously, which is a quality I always find admirable; the ability to laugh at yourself when you do stuff like forget the lyrics to your own song in the studio. I’d argue qualities like that are what I find attractive, rather than just physical qualities. True beauty is on the inside.

I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere between your liver and your spleen, but then again, I’m not a biologist. If anyone knows where true beauty is hiding out in there, let me know!”

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What a mensa

” Actually the world is already run by people with high enough IQs or standardized test scores to qualify for Mensa, for the most part. No one had to step out of their way, they just rose to the top of society on their own.

Get your own CrushTag!

Let’s look at the power bases of the United States, starting with the top tiers of the U.S. government, Silicon Valley, and Wall Street. Someone else can do a rundown for Europe and the rest of the world, but Isaac Isamov once claimed there is a “cult of ignorance in the United States,” so it’s interesting that even the U.S. seems to be mostly run by people with Mensa-level talents in this modern age. 
Silicon Valley: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, Gordon Moore, Scott McNealy, Larry Ellison, Tim Cook. If you can name a great founder or CEO or key developer of a Silicon Valley firm, it’s very likely they had an SAT score good enough to qualify for Mensa (the needed SAT was only 1300 back when it counted) and most of these guys took the test at a time when it did indeed qualify them.(CLICK FOR BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY) Those who went to graduate business schools went to places ranging from Stanford to Duke, similarly requiring GMAT scores in the low to mid 700s (and similarly qualifying for Mensa).
U.S. Government: It’s likely that George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama and this year’s prime competitors (Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, Bernie Sanders, andeven Donald Trump) can all clearly document that their SAT/GMAT/LSAT scores are high enough to join Mensa if they want to. Sanders went to the U. of Chicago, Trump went to Wharton, the Clintons went to Yale Law, Obama went to Harvard Law… so on and so forth. (The only POTUS exceptions in recent history are Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush, who did not have Mensa-level standardized test scores but made it all the way to the Presidency anyway. They are the exceptions that prove the rule.)
Wall Street: All these firms tend to recruit Analysts at only the best undergrad schools in the country, and they especially only recruit Associates at the best business schools in the country. There are a few exceptions who went somewhere like Baruch, but they are usually relative geniuses anyway who had a good reason to go there. Everyone else went to the usual suspects: Chicago, Wharton, Harvard, MIT, etc. All of which require GMAT scores well into the Mensa range.
So. While I’d love to write a post opining that just anyone can run the world somehow, the vast majority of real “movers and shakers” in our society already have Mensa-level standardized test scores and credentials, whether they want to use them to join or not. But I suspect many of them are probably far too busy running our world to actually join Mensa.”

Effortlessly studying any subject

” I study via effortless effort.

What I mean by this is that if i’m encountered with a difficult problem I drop it into the cauldron of my mind. Later when I’m doing dishes, laundry, or taking a walk the solution pops into my head like toast out of a toaster. I take this approach a lot when I’m trying to figure out a solution to a difficult part of a puzzle. Mostly with my Rubik’s cubes.

If I’m writing a book my imagination works over time. For example if I’m writing a fight scene, I imagine every movement that my character makes and write it down step by step so that the reader gets a supremely clear view of whats happening from a variety of different angles.

If I’m studying philosophy via reading pieces from Emerson, or Joseph Murphy I think about what they say from many different angles. The reason I do this is mainly because I believe that every truth is really a half truth.


I’ll state an example to prove my point:

War is a terrible event that kills millions of people and injures millions more am I correct? Yes this is 100% true.

Based on this truth you could easily become an activist and say that we need to figure out a way to stop all wars because its inhuman.

Well the other side of the coin is that without wars our global economy would collapse, and millions would be out of work due to unemployment which would also be seen as inhuman. No one wants a world depression.

Another view point would be to say that to create a world without war, we would need to rid it of any and all military. Some countries have already gotten rid of their military power in favor of world peace.

Well this may be the case but those countries with so called, “No military,” are actually protected by other countries. Therefore they may have no military of their own, however they can count on one who does if a hostile force shows up on their shore lines.”